I was reading an article the other day and it was about female hormone fluctuations and the thing that go on in a woman’s body as she ages. There was a line that said something about how your body, as you get older, goes from fertilization mode to maintenance. Maintenance. I’ve always that word with toilets. My fertility is in the toilet??
I hate that word. Yuck. Maintenance. Ok….it’s very hard to say this but…..ok I can do this….here goes….hang on….ok…..there will be no more fertilizing. No more fertilizing. The tank is empty. Fresh out. None. No more babies. But that’s what we do! We are women! We grow people! We watch them squirm around in their cozy little cocoons under our stretched-tight-as-spandex skin! You can see a foot! You can feel hiccups! And then, about the 17th month of pregnancy, it’s….GET OUT!!! GET OUT NOW you little gremlin!!”. But now they’re just under maintenance. Not getting better, not getting worse, just….status quo. Really?? Yes….really…You’re 44. Already?? 44? REALLY??? That just can’t be. It can’t be over, right??? When did this happen?? I mean, it seems like yesterday I was 25 and me and my girls were out, cuttin’ up, laughing, doing things we shouldn’t be doing, flirting, dating and dancing……Where did the time go?? ………I’m serious. I’m looking for an actual answer! This is ridiculous….I just had boy a couple years ago (he’s actually 10) and my girl a few days ago (she’s actually 3) and now I’m here??? Already??? It doesn’t seem possible. I don’t like this. I can’t even say that M word. It’s awful.
Maintenance. Not this M word….the other one….that one that wants you to pause….you know the one. My parts are just maintaining themselves until I die. Does that mean death is closer than it was??? Ugh. That’s sounds awful. (I’m actually laughing, just FYI!).
So how do you cope? I have no clue….that’s why I write. And drink. (jk!) (no…no jk.) 🙂 I’m inclined to think that the best way to cope is to be thankful you were able to do it at all. There are so many that couldn’t and can’t. My heart breaks for them. I am unbelievably thankful that God chose me to be these wonderful creatures mother!!! I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world!!! So the toilet can have my fertility! I’m done.